Discord 2010: Edition Eight

Wednesday 17th February 2010

By STEVE MASCORD

Forget television deals, Allstar games, fighting Aussie Rules, a better deal for players and fans. We've found a REALLY urgent issue for the new Independent Commission to deal with: Illiterate player tattoos.

On Saturday, the morning of the wonderful Allstars game, we were treated to a great feature on Sam Thaiday on the cover of The Australian sports section. (http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/sport/proud-warrior-sam-thaiday-makes-his-stand/story-e6frg7mf-1225829865039)

But the accompanying photo of the Indigenous forward's chest tattoo was a little disturbing: "One Brother Bleeds, All Brother's Bleed". I hope Sam can get a refund on that erroneous apostrophe.  As if that wasn't bad enough, on Wednesday morning in the Daily Telegraph we saw a back page yarn about Penrith's Jarrod Sammut, entitled "The Incredible Bulk".

(http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/nrl/penrith-nrl-fullback-jarrod-sammut-puts-on-10kg-of-muscle-in-the-off-season/story-e6frexnr-1225831131276)

Check out his tattoo though: ‘Justify Your Existance'. Um, do you mean ‘existence'?

Discord believes badly spelt and punctuated tattoos are the biggest threats to rugby league today. We understand a new commission would poach subeditors from newspapers and publishing houses across Australia and send them into tattoo parlours - some by parachute - to fight this insidious menace.
(We also acknowledge that Discord has more typos each week than you can poe a stik at)

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WASN'T the All Stars game great? Wonderful atmosphere, entertaining footy (although I would have liked to have seen more flash) and the right result.  It makes you wonder where we can take the concept. (I'd like to know what Des Hasler was on when he said a game between an Australian Indigenous side and the best of the rest of an Australasian competition held on National Sorry Day be played overseas ... but still).

How about a game between the Christians and the Hell Raisers? Huh? I would suggest the Christians would have the advantage in the forwards with all the Polynesian boys, while Todd Carney, Justin Hodges and the heathens would show plenty of flair in the backs.
And the Heathens would have the better camp. Jarryd Hayne would have to play no.7 for the God-botherers, since he is "half" Christian. (As the Fire Up boys once said, ‘you can't be half Sikh - you have to be fully Sikh mate').

Perhaps it could be played at Easter, which is sort of the ‘Sorry Day' for Christians and non-Christians.  And when we get a bit further down the track, we could have the Gays v Straights All Star game! Rather than mic'ed up coaches, four quarters and the powerplay, the gimmick would be giving the players bats.  That way, they could literally "bat for the other side".

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In all seriousness, it's genuinely fun covering rugby league in the pre-season. Everyone is happy to see each other, the players aren't scared of saying things and the excitement about the new season.  It seems players aren't difficult, reticent and paranoid by nature. They just become that way eventually each year.  Discord has an early entry for Hairstyle of the Year after attending the St George Illawarra v Parramatta game on Sunday.
Parramatta's Pele Peletelese not only has a great name but an afro to rival those of Joe Galuvao and Joe Galuvao in their prime - COMBINED.

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CONGRATS for to the West Australian Rugby League for putting on a great evening at Members Equity Stadium.  Highlight of the day was a mini-mod league game in which a tiny tot made a great break - in the wrong direction.  His coach picked him up by the jumper-shoulders, spun him around and sent him off towards the right tryline - prompting howls of laughter from 10,000 fans.

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THE great thing about the interactivity with readers in this column is that sometimes it produces genuine news stories.
Last week Jason Winnell asked: "Is Akhmet Kamaldinov, the Dinamo boss who has much to do with the success of the Victory Cup in 2004 and 2005, looking to return to league now Locomotiv have (gone) to rugby sevens in Russia?"
Well we took the question to RLIF development officer Tas Baitieri and he told us he is going on a mission to Moscow next week to check the lay of the land there and assess what level of international competition they should be re-admitted to.
"Kamaldinov left rugby league shortly after that Victory Cup after a falling out regarding coaching," said Tas. "Bob Bailey from New Zealand was the national coach and he felt it should go to a Russian.
"There has been a new set of directors since then and of course some problems last year which resulted in Russia being excluded from the European Cup.
"I am going over there next week to see what is happening. A number of clubs have gone to rugby union due to the financial inducements they were offered but we still have around 30 teams.
"Many of these teams are military who see our sport as more beneficial to the activities they undertake. There are other clubs which have stayed strong but not the same numbers we had before."

stevemascord@rugbyleague.com